


Dear Sherlock

by timeywimeyshenanigans



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, John's POV, a teensy bit of John/Mary fluff, it's ridiculous, mostly angst, seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-26
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-26 22:36:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/655128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeywimeyshenanigans/pseuds/timeywimeyshenanigans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John goes to visit Sherlock's grave every sunday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. June 17th, 2012

**Author's Note:**

> I was feeling depressed and somehow that turned into me wanting to write about John during those three years. Yeah, I'm sorry. Also, I based the date off of John's blog post about Sherlock dying, so if it's wrong, I'm sorry.

Sherlock. Sherlock? Yeah, okay, sure, Sherlock. I'm back, I guess, but I'm not sure why. Err, it's been about a week since, well, you know... Anyway, the news on the whole thing has dwindled down a bit, but there's still, um, a lot of controversy on the matter of, well, of whether or not you were a fake. And, just so you know, I don't care what you said, I don't care what anyone says, I'll never...I refuse to believe any of it. I can't believe it. So, um, loads of people have been calling and showing up lately, reporters, mostly, but I won't give a statement, much to their chagrin. Actually, got into a bit of a row with one of those leeches. He..he called you a fraud, a madman, a freak and I...I couldn't let him do that.  
It's hard, Sherlock. It really is. I just..I thought I forgot, you know, what it was like. To be alone. And, for a year or two, I did, and that was brilliant, honestly, it was. But that's the problem with getting attached, isn't it? Eventually, you always end up alone again. You once told me that “Alone is what protects me.” At the time, I had disagreed, but, well, I'm starting to think you were right about that. But, I guess, I will just..continue on. I think that maybe, with enough time, I'll be almost okay, eventually. Um, I'm going to go now. Goodbye, err, Sherlock.


	2. Week 2

Hello again, Sherlock. It's been about a week since last time, and, I don’t know, I guess I'm just coming on Sundays now. Err, I talked to your brother s day or so ago. He didn't seem all that torn up, but, well, it's Mycroft, who can tell with him. Anyway, er, no news on Moriarty. No news on anything, really. You would have found it dull right now, with a lack of murders, or any cases for that matter. Mrs. Hudson's wall wouldn’t stand a chance. Speaking of the flat, it's far too quiet. More quiet that it has ever been, it feels dead. I mean, sure, I keep the telly on for some background noise, but, well, 3am is severely lacking the sound of mournful violin music. Hmm. Never thought I'd be saying that. Never really thought I would have to. But I do kind of miss it. Actually, I really miss, um, well, all of it, I suppose. But, Sherlock? I, err, have a reason for being here, I mean, beyond just, well, stopping by? Oh god, that's an awful way of putting it, but anyway, the reason I wanted to..needed to come here is, well, the world... it's starting to forget. It's like, it's almost as if, well, as if you've just stopped mattering, stopped existing. I guess,um, in a sense, you have, but I don't think I can just accept that. You still exist, at the very least, in memory, in all of those impressions you left on people..you exist. And, I..I refuse to forget you, okay? I won't, I can't. I mean, how could I? Anyway, I guess I just kind of came to make sure that, err, you're still here. Well,not, um, you, but, well, I think you understand. I don't know why you wouldn't be, but, yeah. I'm, um, going to..go now, I suppose. Goodbye Sherlock. See you next week.


	3. Week 3

Sherlock, I don't..I don't think I can do it any more. Continuing on, going through the motions, pretending I'm okay. Because I'm not, not really. Fine. I always thought, well, I was always told the rubbish stories, 'it gets better with time', 'time heals all wounds'. You know what? Bullshit, the whole lot of it. If anything, things have gotten worse. The pain, the nightmares, the rage,all of it. But you know what is the worst Sherlock? The worst is that first moment after waking up from a fitful sleep. Because, in that one moment, everything's okay. It's that one moment where you don't remember anything, or that it all could have been a nightmare. But then everything comes back. The quiet of living alone, the flashback to that god awful day. Every god-damn day, I have to remember it all over again. Every damn day, Sherlock.   
Why? Why'd you have to go and die? Why couldn't you just come down? Why, that's all I want. Why?! Why?  
…  
Anyway, yeah, it's just...just hard. At least here, I don't have to pretend. But I do have to remember, again. I don't-I don't know Sherlock. I don't know what I'm supposed to do any more.   
Silent as usual, I see. I guess, well, I guess I'll just keep fighting, at least, until I can't. Goodbye Sherlock.


	4. Chapter 4

Things..things are better now. Last week, I dunno Sherlock, it was a low point, but, yeah, things are better. Mrs. Hudson's starting to get back to normal, you know. I know you would claim you don't care, but you and I both that's total bollocks. How many times did you throw that man out the window because he threatened to lay a finger on her? She misses you, you know. And well, even though you were the absolute worst tenant, you were always her favourite. But, um, she's starting to smile again, which is nice. I think she's handling all of this much better than I. Anyway, Lestrade came over a few days ago, along with Molly, I guess they were coming over to check on me or something. Er, we went out for drinks together, there was a lot of reminiscing going on. Molly and Lestrade had some great stories. Wish I could have heard them form you, though. Then again, considering, I can't really blame you for not saying anything. It was...it was good, I think. To get out of the flat again, to see those guys again. I've kind of..fallen out of touch with people since, you know. The whole thing, it's not all right, I'm still not all right, probably never will be, but...I think..I think I can keep going. I think I can just keep living, even if...even if I'll never be completely alive, completely there ever again. Anyway, it's officially Monday, Mrs. Hudson will probably be concerned, I should, erm, probably get going, I guess. See you next week, and, um, goodbye Sherlock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for writing this angst. Except I'm not actually all that sorry. Hopefuly not too OOC.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mycroft is not pleased with John

Hello again Sherlock. Not much to report, I'm afraid. Well, I suppose I'm in a bit of trouble with the government. He's probably mad at me for giving him a black eye. Not that you could really tell with Mycroft. Well., Maybe you could, but...  
Anyway, thought you might like to know that your skull or violin will never be in your brother's custody. I suppose that doesn't really matter now, but, erm, I guess, I was selfish, I couldn't give those things up. Not yet, at least. Anyway, I suppose, for now, there isn't much else to tell you. Nothing much in the criminal world, or just the general world. Okay, well, goodbye, Sherlock. See you again soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short one sorry


End file.
